14 Things Society Told Me; and 15+ Things it told my Friends

  1. When the man I’m not dating mentions another woman’s name, society taught me to release my inner She Demon.
    1. Also society taught me that I have an inner She Demon.
  2. Society taught me that my sexuality is okay….as long as it’s being used to satisfy male desire.
  3. Society taught me that I will be the recipient of many unsolicited dick pics just for existing.
  4. Society taught me that I am inferior to men.
  5. Society taught me how to hold my keys in my hand when I’m walking home alone in the dark.
  6. Society taught me to shut up and let the men speak.
  7. Society taught me that my friends’ success, means my failure.
  8. Society taught me to compete with other women in love, work, personal lives, beauty, and many more components.
  9. When I am assaulted (verbally or physically), society is most concerned with what I was wearing.
  10. Society has labelled me as a psycho bitch because I know what I want and how to get it.
  11. Society taught me how to perfect my “fuck-off” eyes in bars and clubs.
  12. Society has taught me how to manipulate sexism in my favour.
  13. Society has taught me that when a guy sends me a “what’s up stranger?” message, I have to respond nicely, even if I don’t want to.
  14. Society taught me to be weary of fuckboys, but still lets me get hurt by “fuckgirls.”

Society has taught me many things over the years, but the main thing I learned is not to give a fuck. Society has been unfair to women, trans women, women of colour, women who are not straight. Society has been unfair to my grandmothers, my mother, my sister, my cousins, my friends. Society has continually told me what I cannot do, or cannot be.

But the funny thing is, when you tell a woman no, she shows you yes!

I have been so incredibly lucky in my life to meet some of the most amazing women! I’m interviewing them. I go dancing with them. I accompany them to bust casting events. I watch movies with them. I talk to them. I listen to them, and by god, do they have stories.

I asked my friends what society taught them. These were the inspiring, empowering, and very real responses I got.*Will continue adding as my friends keep submitting them*

Happy International Women’s Day. You are all more than society has told you.

  • “Society has taught me that a woman may occupy the space that is conditioned for her. It is therefore our obligation to revolt against and move past this predetermined space, and realize that what society ‘teaches’ us, is often a lesson that we need to reject.” – Maddi
  • “Society has taught me that International Women’s Day is the best & most important day for ridiculous idiots to bemoan “but when is International MEN’S day?!”, despite not actually giving a shit on any other day. Highlighting the fact that some people are incapable of letting anything in the world exist unless it is specifically ABOUT them or FOR them.” – Kate (she also mentioned that International Men’s Day is November 19 and if you actually cared, you would have just googled it)
  • “Society taught me that being fat means I’m ugly and unlovable.” – Shannon
  • “That it’s my responsibility to break and make rules for my own success.”                      – Rameesha
  • “As a woman, society taught me that to be considered feminine, I must be submissive.” – Lori
  • “That my body will always be judged, looked at and scrutinized without my consent. That I exist as an object for others’ pleasure. That I am weaker because I can, and do, display my emotions. And that nothing is stronger than female bonds.” – Brenna
  • “Society has taught me to be confident in myself and become the leader. I automatically become a group leader for school projects almost off default because I’m good at prompting ideas, organizing the group, and managing. However, society has also showed me that my confidence and authority comes off as being bossy to these group members. Even the women group members around me sometimes give me snarky looks when I check in on whether tasks are getting done or I provide constructive feedback.” – Sonia
  • “Society taught me that humans have the potential to be compassionate, adaptable, and open-minded, but that many people are too scared to educate themselves to dig themselves out of their negative mindsets.” – Shannon
  • “Society has taught me that I don’t like it and the position it’s put me in. It’s taught me that I have the determination to change it.” -Brenna
  • “I know that if I need help or want people to come to me to make new friends, all I have to do is dress nicer and wear makeup, try to look pretty, and then look lost -there’s less of a chance of people offering to help me or introduce themselves to me at social events if I don’t put effort into my appearance.” – Juliette
  • “Literally if you do anything, it is unbecoming.” -Anoynmous
  • “Society taught me that my self-expression is meaningless because my femme appearance automatically means I am a woman, and my non-binary identity is fake.” – Shannon
  • “As a woman, you are supposed to be the caregiver; whenever someone is sick, you are supposed to be the one to take care of them.” -Anoynmous
  • “As a women of colour in my family I am expected to go into the arts and leave the science for the brothers. Unless of course you want to be a doctor. That’s something you hear from society but also the University is so stem focused that we have the same pressures. So many men in stem still have huge prejudices.” – Kazma
  • “Society has taught me that as a women I have to constantly justify my actions because I am clearly doing something wrong.” – Brenna
  • “As a woman, society has taught me that I need to wear an appropriate amount of makeup in order to be considered hireable. Not too much, not too little.” – Sonia
  • “Society has taught me that there is often not a place for a woman in the way our systems are set up. but as long as I constantly have to fight for my place, the fight is worth it, knowing that I am paving some kind of future for those who come after. Society has taught me that the fight to be a woman is a fight worth having.” – Theresa

-Red Hot



2 thoughts on “14 Things Society Told Me; and 15+ Things it told my Friends

  1. Society has taught me that when I go on a date, a few dates, kiss someone, sleep with someone or do anything in between I can’t say no if I decide I don’t like them or change my mind because that makes me a bitch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great point, Alyssa. It’s so frustrating that even the simple things women say (like yes or no) are debated on what we mean by that, or what our alternative motives may be. And isn’t it interesting that no matter what we seem to do, we are degraded and called a “bitch.”


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