I am an incredibly social person.
And it’s exhausting.
I enjoy socializing, talking to people, dancing, flirting with strangers, going out, spending 4 hours talking to you over coffee, getting dinner, going to movies, going rock climbing, interacting on Facebook and Snapchat. I love it all, but I don’t get my energy from that.
I’m writing this post to let everyone know once and for all that I am an introvert, and I’m tired.
I seem to have so many people fooled because I am social and enjoy socializing whenever I get the chance. This week alone, I’ve worked 4-8 hour shifts at my retail job where customer service is our main goal, and then I go out with friends for another few hours, only to head to bed and repeat again the next day.
You see this; my friends see this; my acquaintances and coworkers see this. But you didn’t see me sitting in the dark basement for five and a half hours last night listening to sad music because that was the first time I’ve been able to breathe in a week.
You didn’t see me wake up this morning and lie in bed, struggling to get up to meet a friend I haven’t seen in a year because I didn’t know if I could look happy enough even though I was ecstatic on the inside.
You won’t see me tomorrow night when I come home and ignore my family for the third night in a row because my choices are to ignore them to recharge for the next day, or snap and cause a nasty fight.
Yes, I am social.
Yes, I still want to hang out with everyone I have plans with for the rest of the holiday season.
Yes, I would like you to keep inviting me when you go out drinking, dancing, or partying even though “something came up” the last two times.
I would love to keep all of this in my life, because I do love being social, but I need you to remember that my energy comes from moments when I lie in the dark with Sia blasting through my headphones. Or sitting on the couch binge-watching The Mindy Project.
I need to be alone, so I can continue to entertain you – and we all know I love to entertain.